I am officially a black belt.
Saturday was the black belt ceremony, where we received our belt.
Earning my black belt has been a life goal since I was 18. I was excited, but like everything in my life I kept it muted. I am not allowed to be excited or it escalates my children. Apparently, I did not keep it muted enough.
The day was pretty horrible. I hate when I have very limited expectations and it still turns out to be a horrible day. I do not want to get into it, but sometimes autism and schizoaffective disorder just sucks. This was one of those moments.
I ended up arriving to the ceremony frustrated with one child's behavior and ended up leaving early due to another child's behavior. Maybe it is worse because I did not think that it would be an issue. This is the same dojang that we spend a good portion of our time. My daughter should be use to it, but ultimately it was too much for her.
One of my daughters managed to take some pictures, but on Monday - my first class as a black belt - we got a picture of us together. It is my favorite.
I know I have a lot of training left, that there is so much more I can improve. But when I tied on that belt I knew that I had earned it. It was very exciting to have it sitting around my waist on Monday as we did class.
With work crazy busy and the kids back in school I have not done much reading this week.
I am reading more short stories, and finished reading the September issue of Apex magazine. I also finished listening to No One Cares About Crazy People - wow. I know this book will not appeal to everyone, but that is kind of the point. I will write more in my review. However, for now, I will say that I do not think I have read another book written by a parent of a child with Schizoaffective Disorder. While there are still many differences between our situations, it was appreciated that he wrote this book. This week has been difficult, and it is nice to hear someone else speak up. It was nice to hear the positive with the hardship. There is always plenty of both.
I stopped the Psychology of Time Travel. The Poppy Wars was calling to me and I could not resist. It is a long book, and I am about 70% through it now. I like it, and yet I wish that there was more character development. I am getting overdone with war stories. Can't we just all get along? There is already so much chaos in the world. I know, I know, I know. Yet, I still feel this way right now.
I have created my list for my next five reads. Even though I am not finished with my last five, I am close. So, I will probably post the next list the end of this week. I am also trying to catch back up on reviews. I am at least seven books behind. As we are nearing the end of the year I also want to make sure all the books I have read this year have been reviewed.
I have finished 124 books so far. That seems crazy to me. How have I read that many. Also, how are there still so many books left to read? How do you narrow down what to read when there are so many older books as well a so many new releases?
Yes! You read that right - I passed my black belt test. My daughter pointed out that there was little chance of me failing as I had completed everything on the test. Then I pointed out that she was just as excited and relieved after her interview where she officially passed. She then agreed.
The ceremony is on Saturday. I will officially receive the belt that has been tied to a post on the wall for weeks now. I will get my new uniforms. I can officially wear black pants! This is something only black belts can wear in our dojan. I do not think the guys truly understand the difficulty with white pants.
This is a weird period - being a black belt but not a black belt. Half the time we are included with the black belts and the other half the red belts. I almost always choose the wrong group and have to be asked to change (or I see where all the kids went). Soon that will be over.
There are articles about how nothing changes when you are a black belt. I do not have the belt on my waist and I disagree with this. Just realizing that I passed the test, five hours of total endurance, has taught me that I can go furhter. I pushed a little harder when I ran yesterday and went further than ever before without having to stop to walk it off. I go harder in class, work more, and feel more confident. I did not magically become amazing at taekwondo, but I learned that I can push myself to be better.
If you enjoy this blog please consider donating. All donations go towards operational costs of the blog. Thanks!